Typhoid Ali begets Typhoid Alex, anxiety and a cheerful boat ride

Woke up to our first day in Cinque Terre with the old pal sore throat present but a bit better. I think it's because it and its friend cough found a new host in Alex. It's weird, I've been sick for over two weeks and I thought Alex would have caught it by now, but then I remembered that he's been taking steroids the past week for his back, which weakens the immune system. Alas. You'd think there was no fun going on around here with all of this illness and leg pain and all, but it's not true. We are having a splendid time, mostly.

The B&B where we are staying is called Il Timone Lerta, and it's fantastic. If you ever happen to be in Cinque Terre, this is the place to stay. You must commit to climbing 103 steps to get there, but its' worth it. The views of Monterosso go on forever and the breakfasts, home made by Mama, the owner's mom, are excellent. We breakfasted on fresh pastries, eggs, fruit and toast. And then, we retired to our room to rest. I decided that some very purposeful down time was needed to help get rid of the nasty bug, my Italian companion. And perhaps resting early would help Alex get over his ailment sooner. So we napped and read books and listened to music until about 2:30 PM.

We had a boat trip to see the five cities of Cinque (five) Terre (lands). Alex let me know last night that he was having anxiety about going on the boat trip and he was still grappling with it today. I lured him out of the B&B with the promise of good food, and that we found. Pesto is the specialty of this region of Italy and we were treated to the freshest and tastiest pesto of the trip. We also consumed a gelato/honey/whiskey dessert that was yum.

After lunch, we had an hour or so before meeting for the boat trip. Alex's anxiety was ramping up, resulting in an aversion to doing anything but sitting somewhere. That somewhere turned out to be Monterosso's beautiful black and white church in the center of the city. Anxiety is insidious. It's a thief and a liar. It tells sufferers that the worst possible thing will happen to them in a given situation. It robs the present time, always ruminating on what happened in the past or what may happen in the future. It adds physical symptoms like upset stomach, headache, rapid heart beat and sweating to the terrible mix of thoughts circling in the mind. I know about this because I've managed anxiety and OCD all my life. But I don't know what Alex's anxiety is like and it's so hard for me to watch him suffer and struggle. Today, we were in one of the most beautiful places on earth, getting ready to go on a sunset boat trip and Alex could think only of getting back to the safety of our room. He was convinced that he would have a panic attack on the boat and not be able to get off. It had been on his mind all day, so much so that he wasn't 'present' for anything else we'd done. And now, in the church, he was positive that he couldn't face the boat. After about a half hour of talking through the anxiety, trying ways to lessen it and debating what to do, Alex decided to head back to the room on his own and I was to take the tour. But then he became worried that he wouldn't be able to handle being alone with his anxiety (not to mention the ever present depression). Plan two was for both of us to stay back. It was tough.

Finally, shortly before departure, Alex couldn't bear thinking about me missing the trip, so he pushed through his fear and we headed towards the harbor. I wasn't saying much to him, wanting to give him space to process and to work through his emotions on his own. We didn't talk to each other again until about 15 minutes into the trip, when he turned to me with a smile and said, "I feel better." Alex wins over anxiety today.

After the horrible ramp up to the trip, the boat ride was really lovely. The views of the towns from the water was stunning and our stop in Vernazza for tapas was tasty and fun. We were talking with a couple from London and of course Brexit and Trump came up. It was interesting to hear each other's opinions about politics in our respective countries. On the way back to Monterosso, we were treated to the loveliest sunset, casting a glow over Cinque Terre and coloring the waters all shades of beautiful. Alex said it was the first time he was awed by something on this trip. He was in the present, right there, drinking in the beauty of that boat ride.